2 Months In

It's hard to believe that we are already 2 months into the new year. It's been a year of ups and downs, which I guess is better than all downs, which has been my pattern for the past few years. But it's still now where I want it to be. I complain all the time. That has to stop. It's not a fun thing to be around. I did run today, the first time in almost 2 weeks. And I was doing 12-minute miles. But I petered out after 2 miles, so I have a ways to go again. But it did feel good. Tomorrow my goal is to get up at 5:00 and do a kettlebell workout. Then go to the gym after work and do some weights. Hopefully that will happen.

Something Has to Change

I'm in such a funk. I have no desire to do anything. Nothing at all. I'm so depressed at work, which is falling over into my personal life. I need to break this because it's sucking everything out of me. I have to find a way to make work better. I'm so bored there. I want to do more, but not recruiting. I don't have the appitude for recruiting. I like doing HR. I need more clients, but I don't know how to get them. And I want to do it without the partner's help. I don't mind CTs help so I need to figure out how to get more of her time. I don't have any desire to exercise, but I want to lose 70 pounds. Maybe because when I do exercise, I'm not seeing any results. Of course, I'm not exercising regularly, so I won't see any results. I have to make that a priority. Maybe if I can focus on that, then I'll start to feel better about myself, and maybe that will translate into work. But something has to change before I sink even deeper.