Second Half of the Year

It's now July, and this year is half over. It's been a bitch of a year, and so far, it's not really getting much better. I'm in such a funk and I have no clue how to pull myself out of this mood. I really don't. I don't even know what's wrong with me. I have no desire to do anything. I spend all of my time sitting on the couch, watching TV and playing games on the computer. Yesterday I had to force myself to do some scrapbooking. I'm not normally like that. I'm not hearing my alarm go off - either my regular alarm or my cell phone - and that bothers me. And I'm having some health problems. My knees are very sore all the time. It's probably because I'm so stinking fat. If I can lose the weight, it'll be easier to run and work out. But I don't do anything about that. My running has gotten worse, I'm so much slower than I want to be. The race today - 42:30. My worst time ever! My mileage pace was 13:43. I want to get to a 10-minute mile - not happening anytime soon. The really sad thing - I read through all of my posts this year. They are all depressing. Nothing good in any of them. I know something has to give, but what? I don't want to go on any more meds - I'm on enough of them. But I can't do this much longer. I can't remember the last time I was happy that didn't involve Disney. How pathetic is that?